1. |
The Clown
04:19
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Where am going
Following these feet?
I got so lost I lost my way,
In the street I live and lay.
Forever running
From door to train to sky.
Never quite knowing
How to be,
Who am I.
Sewing feathers to my back
So i’d never touch the ground.
But I know better than before
That the only way up is down.
I played the part
of the Beautiful stranger.
Lying only to myself;
It’s dangerous being someone else.
Scared when unscripted,
I juggle loaded guns.
Smiling yet knowing
I’m fearful of the fun.
Draw the curtain, no applause,
I am just a clown.
But I know more than before;
That the only way up is down.
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2. |
Sacred Heart
03:55
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In my sparkling fantasies-
In my wildest childhood dreams-
I stood before a wide eyed crowd,
Who’s voices call my name out loud.
But now I’m standing before my mistakes,
Wondering if I’ll ever be a saint.
Or at least afoot of someone great-
Now do I settle for a prophets date?
I felt the angels were laughing at me.
Kept losing blood from the heart on my sleeve.
My addled heart trying to find it’s own beat-
My heart wrapped in thorns that cut deep-
My sacred heart with only gold left to bleed.
I was taught if to exist
I must be known or won’t be missed,
And if I cannot be enough
My worth is bound to who I love.
But this morning I woke up professed-
I pushed that rock away atop my chest.
I burnt the pictures on my alters stand-
I took my life into my shaking hands!
I was lost in what the hunting meant-
Tracking glory led me to regret
And my passion play will never be burnt,
Though the harder you love the harder you hurt.
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3. |
Earthly Desire
03:58
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You were just waiting,
Helplessly hoping,
Anticipating,
What happens next.
I was just spinning,
Secretly dreading,
The face of my lover
When I tell him…
You walked
Alone
To my door.
and bid farewell to before.
You came round with your tongue hanging out of your mouth,
No words, no doubt, no idea what all this yearnings about.
Earthly Desire
I sewed your full name
On to my panties,
Beneath my cotton,
So you’d feel me.
And our hair is turning
Grey like the morning,
Cold like this winter,
Everlasting…
I turned
My light on for you
open my window won’t you.
And I cut my teeth on the rocky beach where I left my mind for the summer.
And i pinned my heart to a falling star that you found when you were running.
You came round with your tongue hanging out of your mouth.
No words, no doubt, no idea what all this yearnings about.
Earthly Desire.
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4. |
Sweethearts
03:31
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I’m in love with sweethearts in my head,
Same old stories written with new words.
A half opened bottle of cheap red
Is company along with singing birds…
Can push the sky
Can change the tide.
Now where’s this love who’ll come
And come and change my mind?
Was a prisoner to all my myths;
Tethered to revenants never known.
Finding joy inside a new abyss
That looks a lot like my own messy home,
Just like a cave without a light,
Where I sleep drunk,
And it’s alright.
I heard a song
Before I stirred
It was your voice
That song I heard
I hadn’t penned
Those knowing words
I was the lamb
And you the bird.
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5. |
Jukebox
03:11
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It’s 2am,
The bar is empty,
I’m bent over the jukebox
Playing songs that remind me
Of when we first met-
I don’t even drink,
But the smell of that beer
Reminds me of your skin.
Flawed;
So flawed were you and I.
Whilst you drank away your feelings
I always looked for reasons
To try and save you from yourself…
And all the while
You were saving someone else
Oh, I waited so long
For you to let me in…
Just to let me down.
Blindfolded I loved,
With nowhere to go-
Pink neon red cheeks,
As you moved with her slow.
Silent and still,
As the room danced around me-
I was stuck to the carpet
And every memory.
But today,
It seems I’ve woken up.
I poured out your wine,
You can no longer fill my cup.
I looked
Myself straight in the eye.
And in the bathroom of that bar.
Ill love myself for the first time.
Oh I waited so long
For you to let me in
Just to let me down-
And spit me out;
That spit you shared with her,
When I was sleeping in our bed…
And oh, I waited oh so long,
For you to let me in,
Just to let me down.
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6. |
Breath
03:42
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I had a dream I couldn’t see-
I was clawing at the trees.
I called for help but couldn’t speak,
When the angels sung to me.
“Look at you changing-
Look at your colours-
Proud but sorry.
Born to be great but
Flawed at the gates-
Broken by temptation.”
Oh-
It it there…
Can you feel it?
You can’t see it?
It is here,
Though it’s rare.
You can’t touch it,
Though you hold it.
When I woke I had a thirst
That could not be quenched.
And I was taunted by soaring birds
Who sung to me-
“Look at us flying-
Look at you grounded-
Proud but sorry.
Born to be great but
Flawed at the gates-
broken by temptation”
Oh-
It it there…
Can you feel it?
You can’t see it?
It is here,
Though it’s rare.
You can’t touch it,
Though you hold it.
It is breath,
Though not air-
It is changing;
Always changing.
It is god,
It is death,
It is life,
It is breath.
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7. |
Righteous Rain
04:43
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I’ve been called a bird a sheep,
Called a lion,
Called too weak,
Been called so many names
Nearly forgot that I could dance.
Took one too many notes this life,
I got twisted round some knife,
Meant to cut the mighty down,
with some elusive crown.
Oh here it comes again;
Righteous rain ,
Restore my heart!
I’ve been a wild woman…
I need the open sky on me,
The frenzied clouds,
The careless breeze,
The storm is best upon my knees…
I feel god, I feel at ease.
Flirting from a homemade throne,
I was stupid, was alone
With my mind in Hollywood;
My lust on nothing good.
Forgot the touch of my own skin,
Of the place that I was in,
Of the love I stopped giving,
I kept on leaving.
Oh here it comes again;
Righteous rain ,
Restore my heart!
I’ve been a wild woman…
I need the open sky on me,
The frenzied clouds,
The careless breeze,
The storm is best upon my knees…
I feel god, I feel at ease.
Let the rain fall down….
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8. |
Songbird
05:28
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This was to be my last plea,
That final cry across the sea,
That final call across the sand,
Of this stolen burning broken land.
When you know…you just know.
Honour bound and still obliged
To all my ghosts from my past life.
Sewn to the skin of all I’ve touched,
I love hard that’s just how I love.
When you know…you just know.
The crooked night arouses me,
Tormenting me out of my dreams.
Shadows cast a frighting show,
A spirit I don’t want to know.
When you know…you just know.
A beggar called me by my name
Across the street she called my name
But when I looked her in the eye
I looked myself straight in the eye.
When you know…you just know.
A desperate songbird still am I.
A lonely painter by and by.
I bury my gold in the dirt,
I am better off poor then hurt.
When you know…you just know.
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Anita Lester Melbourne, Australia
Devorah is the newest project from Anita Lester.
Anita originally made a mark in small
communities around the world first with ‘Me and the Grownups’, then as ‘Lester The Fierce’, touring extensively internationally with both, gaining high praise.
After a five year hiatus and various collaborations, Anita recorded her EP for 'Devorah', titled 'Erato'- it's first single 'Wrong Time' is out now.
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